Gods ‘r’ Us (part 4)

THE HAWAIIANS

For many months, Pele followed a star from the northeast, which shone brighter than the rest, and migrated toward it. One morning, Pele awoke to the smell of something familiar in the air. In the distance could be seen a high mountain with a smoky haze hiding its peak. Pele knew she had found her new home. She named the island, Hawai’i.

Pele, carrying her magic stick Pa’oa, went up to the mountain where part of the earth collapsed into the ground. She placed the stick into the ground and called the place, Kilauea. Inside the Kilauea Crater was a large pit, which she named, Halema’uma’u. Halema’uma’u would be her new home.
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Gods ‘r’ Us (part 3)

THE MAYA

In the beginning, were only Tepeu and Gucumatz. These two sat together and thought, and whatever they thought, came into being. They thought, Earth, and there it was. They thought, mountains, and there they were. They thought, trees and sky and animals, and each came into being.

Because none of these creatures could praise them, they formed more advanced beings of clay, but the clay beings fell apart when wet. Then they made beings out of wood, but the wooden beings caused trouble on the earth, so they sent a great flood to wipe out these beings so they could start over.
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Gods ‘r’ Us (part 2)

THE HUNGARIANS:

If we backtrack Hannibal across the Alps to Hungary, we find seated upon his golden throne, in his golden house, the old, white-haired, white-bearded god of eternity, the Great Heavenly Father, clad in black robes which sparkle from thousands of stars embedded in the cloth. Seated next to him, similarly attired, the Great Heavenly Mother; she having been “the ancient material from which everything was made.” The Heavenly Parents looked down “from the immeasurable heights” upon a roiling, foaming sea, the Earth not yet having been formed. Before them stood “their beautiful, golden, sunbeam-haired son, the Sun God, Magyar,” who asked his Dad when they will create the world of the Humans. After pondering, the Great Heavenly Daddy advised him to descend to the bottom of the sea, where he would find “sleeping seeds” and to bring these to the surface where they would become Humans and be his children. The Great Heavenly Youngster magically transformed into a golden, diving duck, and after one failed attempt, managed to collect the seeds and return to the surface where the seeds sprouted, grew and became living beings. It must be assumed that in his absence, Great Heavenly Pops created someplace for them to stand.
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Gods ‘r’ Us (part 1)

Before examining in detail the zany antics of the god of the Judeo-Christian Bible, it might be beneficial to establish a little perspective by taking at least a cursory glance at other gods that Man has created for Himself, though not always in His own image.
Before the reader smirks at the obviously ridiculous claims of these various antiquated beliefs, it should be realized that each was as real to the believer of the time as those you may well hold today. Possibly even more so, as you have the benefit of modern science ready and willing to demonstrate the impossibility of many of the claims made by whatever religion you currently practice, whereas those ancient peoples did not.
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Preface

I loved my Mother and Father with every fiber of my being – I didn’t always show it, but I know they knew, nevertheless.

Yet they filled my youth with stories of all of the things I could do, to get sent straight to Hell. They meant well, I’ll give them that – they were honestly and deeply concerned that I live my life in such a way that I earn a reservation in the Heaven they were certain existed. They loved me, I’ve no doubt.

Regrettably, their own education was limited – Dad finished fifth grade, Mom the seventh. They weren’t, to say the least, readers on a grand scale. They never read the Judeo-Christian Bible upon which they so fervently wished me to model my life. Instead, they (i.e., my Mom) went to church and chose to accept what the minister said as, well,…gospel. Neither the minister, nor my parents, ever questioned the veracity of that book upon which they believed their fate after death to lie – a book my parents never read.
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